I HATE Red Dead Redemption and I want to smash my boyfriends copy because thats ALL he does. becoming a vegetarian is helping me overcome my eating disorder I still cut myself I hallucinate that my friends are with me I almost cheated on my boyfriend for money, and didn't feel guilty about it since he spends all his time playing games. I buy contacts off the internet from South Korea and don't tell my eye doctor I want so many things and people want to get them for but I don't let them and then feel sad because I don't have them I feel guilty for wanting.
I admit.... ...To having stood over a local cliff and almost took that fatal step on purpose. ...To hating my best friend. ...To lying every day. ...To loving life. ....To hating life. ....^^ To not knowing which one's the truth ^^ .... To freaking people out....frequently.
I admit that even if for two whole years she was my entire world, she was an abusive woman who took out all of her hate on me. I admit that even if it's going to be hard, I'm going to have to live without her. I admit that I'm afraid I won't be able to define who I am without her to tell me. I admit I'm scared.
..That sometimes i wish i was dead. ..That I wish i could just hide myself away, and tape up my mouth so that i can't eat even if i wanted to. ..That even if i died from not eating, i wouldnt care. ..That nobody understands when i talk to them about this. ..That i've given up trying.